Sunday, July 29, 2012

Home inspection

I know this is off my normal topic; I'm in the process of buying a home. I just got a home inspection. The home inspector I got was fantastic. She gave a good price and was very thorough and knew her stuff. Here is a link to her site.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Maybe it's You!!!

Maybe it is me. I mean that's what they always say right? It must be me. Especially since I just got done reading maybe the 100th article that blamed me. According to this article, the reason for me showing up late to work or meetings is because my interest in my job is waning. Don't worry to fix that all I need to do is start searching and land a new job. Then I will be interested in being a good on time employee. It's my fault for not being interested.

If fact it is all of your faults. That's right all 99.9% of us out there who have lost interest in our jobs. It's our fault for not finding a job we are interested in. It has nothing to do with the fact that after a short time, usually less then 2 years, we discover something called the glass ceiling and discover the horror that this is the beginning and end of our career.

Or maybe its simply because we come to the same realization Trent Reznor expresses in the song "Everyday is Exactly the Same" when he sings "I believe I can see the future because I repeat the same routine".

Or maybe its simply because we realize that all the work is done by 99% of us and 1% gets 90% of the return.

I'll tell you what you fucking job advising idiots, its not because "my interest in my job is waning". Its because rich fuck faces pay people like you to write things to make people like me believe it is my problem. This in opposition to the fact that it is a societal issue that must exist for the upper class to keep us little people dreaming the bullshit "American Dream". That way we are so disillusioned, daydreaming about unrealistic riches, we don't notice them sweeping away the fruits of our labors right in front of us.

Great job career advisers. Making people feel self concious and avoiding the root cause is sure to help people find a true balance in their lives. Fuck heads!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Damn Good Burger...

Mmmmmmmmmm!!!! Boy do I love a nice fat juicy burger. A half a lb of the finest bovine. Ground to bloody perfection and cooked with a nice pink inside. Throw some ketchup, cheese, onions, lettuce, and pickles on that hot mutha and you got your self heaven. Oh fucking yeah!

Just to help even drive the point home of the greatness of the burger here's a couple things to think of; beef, like many plants we eat, is grown in cow shit. Thats right. Those big fat juicy cows are all shoved nice and tightly into their corals so all they can do is eat, get fat, and shit. Just not much room for them to shit so they just kind of shit on each other and live in shit. In lots of cases their shit is all the way up to their body. Here's a picture. Notice no grass even though thats what cows naturally eat. Replaced by acres and acres of shit.

Yeah don't worry cows seriously only need about 16 square feet to make a delicious steak on legs. Really thats true. How do I know? Well because thats what your pricey steakhouse shit on steak gets now.

But we all know its not the fact that we marinate our food in shit while its living that is troublesome, its only really a problem becuase thats where the E Coli virus comes from. And E Coli can freaking kill you so we need to wash it of and kill the bacteria  (because we all know that growing our food not in sewage is not really an option). So the geniuses of modern capitalism have devised a brilliant plan of how to wash the shit off your food. With ammonia!!! (this is true too just read about it). And what has ammonia in it you ask? Well piss of course. Thats right! We now wash the shit off of our food with piss! Ah man I can't wait to wrap my lips around a warm fat burger oozing juices all over my plate. Patiently marinated in shit then meticuliouly cleaned with piss. Smothered in cheddar and bacon.

Seriously this is hilarious. Imagine this scenario;

Jim: ah Joe your fucking dog shit on my pizza.
Joe: Dude sorry here let me see it.
Jim: Here. What are you going to do?
Joe: Oh dude I'm just going to take it into the bathroom and wash that shit off with piss.
Jim: Nice dude thanks. Wow this pizza is delicious!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!! Fucking read people!!!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Alright just go out and do what you know you should do

I've actually been pretty quiet this election season. Probably quieter then I should have been. But seriously you probably didn't need another person all in your face telling you to go out and vote, even if you don't vote the way I want, just vote (well actually if you ain't voting my way I hope you get a flat on your way to the polling place then as you're trying to change the tire the jack breaks and you get pinned under the car... just kidding seriously I really want you to vote).

I got to tell you though people. I'm very disappointed. Very, very disappointed. It hasn't even been two years. Not even two years and we've already forgotten that the Republicans are the ones who removed the regulations from the banking industry which allowed them and Wall Street to have a drunken party for eight years. Eight years drunk at the wheel waving a strong economy built on the false value of homes. The root cause of the current economic troubles.

So I suppose we're tired of almost 2 whole years of trying to build wealth in a legitimate way that is sustainable and can secure the future for our children. I mean its tiring no longer building McMansions that we can only afford to pay the interest on, but it continues to gain value so we continue to gain wealth by pretty much doing nothing. We're tired of trying to be innovative and finding the next great societal improvement that shows we deserve to be fat and rich. And most of all we're tired of paying less income tax under Obama then we did under W. That's right, income taxes have decreased under Democrats.

I am already frowning at the news. The news of Republicans taking majority in the House or the Senate or both is already making me sick. You are all being manipulated by someone who has told you to be upset that government is to big and intrusive, but has not been intrusive enough to take over the economy and so it is their fault the economy is not better. If you don't see the error in this logic, then go ahead, vote for a shitbag Republican who is going to rape you and not let you abort the satanicfuck growing inside you. But if you see the logic then you know what the right thing to do is and vote for anyone else.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

No Fags in the Military!

It is about damn time this country has done something important since Obama has taken office. That's right gays, we don't want to know you're a fag and courageously serving your country. I mean what type of good freedom fighter should be able to freely express their interests?

If I was a Marine in Afghanistan, I would rather have no one in my squad who speaks Arabic then a Marine, who is an open fudge packer, that can translate for us. Seriously I would rather mutilate a village of innocent people with high powered machine guns and artillery, when one runs frantically at us and we can't understand them, then find out they were trying to tell us we just missed Osama Bin Laden from our openly gay brother in arms.

Really why would you think it is ok to tell me what you would like to do with your penis? (Well that is unless you want to fuck hot chicks with it.) This knowledge of what you do in your own privacy is so detrimental to the morale of the troops. This is much worse then finding out I'm invading a country for phony claims of weapons of mass destruction capable of doing what we are doing to this country. It is so much worse then getting on an aircraft carrier and stating "Mission Accomplished" at the same time I'm dragging a legless soldier out of a Humvee hit by an IED and trying not to get shot in the following ambush.

Thank you today Congress. Thank you for showing us what the USA is really about. Thank you for proving once again that the USA is about freedom, as long as we like what you are doing. Thank you for showing us that the USA is about accepting differences as long as they are not different from the majority. Thank you for once again showing us that the USA is compassionate as long as it doesn't get in the way of getting re-elected. And thanks once again for shutting those fags up.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Is the Tea Party Relevant?

Is the Tea Party Relevant? Is that even a question? Hell yes they are relevant. Relevant as the number of people who voted for W. Bush twice and don't want to admit they are Republican anymore because they are embarrassed that they caused this fucked up mess we are in. And you know what? That's just under the the number of people who voted John Kerry in 2004.  Which means it is the number of voters minus Kerry voters minus thrid party voters. That comes out to be about 4,000 people!!!! Therefore they are seriously relevant.

And come on give the Tea Partiers a chance. They were almost right when they voted for W Bush twice. I mean all he had to do was exactly the opposite of what he did for 8 years and he would have been perfect. Seriously that's only as bad as guessing on a true or false test and guessing every single answer wrong. That's pretty fucking hard which means he was pretty fucking good at something!

I mean they do have a point. Smaller Government would mean less taxes. Less taxes means less regulators. Less regulators means self regulating. Self regulating means housing market crashes. Housing market crashes means less wealth. Less wealth means less jobs. Less jobs means larger deficits. Larger deficits means inflation. Inflation means... Wait forget I said all that. That wouldn't happen. Would/Did it?

So in short makes sure when your pulling that lever or touching the screen of that fucked up Diebold, Dick Cheney owned mess, you at least consider how well these people select candidates. Give'em a chance!


Monday, September 13, 2010

Democrats can't even fix 8 years of short sighted economic policy in less then 2 years!!!

It is September of 2010. Obama, who is a radical Muslim and hates America, took office on January 20, 2009. He has been in office for 19 months. Let me ask this: How fucking long will it takes these Democrats to fix 8 years of short sighted, wealthy corporate leader friendly, regulation absent economy?

Here are the facts:

The housing market crashed in 2008. So Obama, who was running his campaign at that time, couldn't come up with a plan, in a couple months, to instantaneously fix the problem of packaging subprime loans into securities and then investing in derivatives that would pay out when those same subprime loans failed because the financial institutions had no oversight in their lending practices. I mean really, who couldn't fix this problem that was developing for years?

The US deficit is now $13 trillion. Yes that is with 12 zeroes! I can't even imagine how Obama plans to get this number back to the $2 trillion surplus we saw 10 years ago. Seriously where are we going to get the money to give wealthy people tax cuts (notice I didn't say Americans) and then on top of that start a couple more long drawn out expensive wars with no real evidence for their necessity? 

With an almost 10% unemployment rate and 10% of people owning 71% of wealth in the world, isn't it clear that these things are related? The top 10% are no longer even giving the bottom 10% the gratitude of trickling on them from their golden streams because we are not renewing their well deserved tax breaks? Just imagine how hard it is to be filing single with $250,000 adjusted gross income. The thousands that they want them to pay to subsidize unemployed minimum wage earners on welfare with absolutely no benefits, many of which probably work for people like this and make it possible for them to make so much money, just to insure that there is not a catastopphic social collapse that would leave all but the very most affluent in poverty. Now that is much harder then being a child born into poverty, at school, who can't pay attention to the horrible Liberal Elite Darwinist education provided by our high standard social structure, because they are too concerned where their next meal is going to come from or if their Mom is going to be high on crack when they get home.

So in short, if you really want people in office who can't fix other people's years of horrible guidance, greed,  and catastrophic blunders, then vote Democrats. But if you want to see what will happen if we continue to cater to a handful of individuals who are in no shape or form needy, then vote American, vote Republican!!!